I can empathize...

Yeah this guy is ridiculous. I hope the point I was making was clear.

I think HFS is another example of a guy who has been brainwashed by society to thinking there's something seriously wrong with him, to the point of extreme deficiency. You see a lot of guys like this, especially the ones who try to walk around the fact that they're incel. They blame themselves for everything, and it's pathetic and sad seeing it unfold.

Most of the incels in the "femisphere" believe there's something wrong with them and that they must change themselves, but the problem is they can't. They believe it's possible to change their personality but you can't completely overhaul your personality, it doesn't work. These guys are caught in a perpetual hamster wheel that never ends.

Scorpius wrote

These guys are caught in a perpetual hamster wheel that never ends.

It ends when their lives end.  And that will also be the end of their genes.  They are an evolutionary dead-end.

Hard to believe obese girls have it harder in the dating game than me since i find them so repulsive. If that's true, then it would make me feel better. It's still demoralizing, though, when some woman I wouldn't pay to sleep with gives me that dismissive, disgusted look that I'm so used to.

I guess I can't help but see things differently. I envy asian men, because all of them can find brides in their home countries. If your dead set on white women, there's always Russia.

Scorpius wrote

To me, size has always been a problem in that I appear weak and puny compared to most men. I'm not that big, and it's definitely a confidence issue. Whenever I see an attractive girl with a boyfriend, he's always larger than her, size-wise. Even if he's shorter than her. I see this as a big obstacle for me, as I want an attractive woman.

And this posting on no-girlfriend got me thinking.

Do forgive my ramblings.

The above two posts actually got me connecting some dots. All my life, Ive had a picture of me in my mind's eye as extremely thin as well as being 5'2". Probably from all the subtle and not so subtle bullying.

I can think of a few reasons for this, (some of them private). But one strong one that comes to mind is most of the people my size are women. So I formed a mental picture of myself as effiminate and thin.

However, I weigh 150lbs, perhaps 140 if I lose the fat (and gain no muscle in the process). So Im actually quite muscular.

Also, Im weird in a way because Ive had female interest (from the kind of girls I like) but became paralyzed. Different from a pure incel type situation. How much of this was my (false?) body image of not only being shorter, but lighter as well? Therefore being unable to dominate a woman at all?

Thing is, girls want something they can instinctually turn to. Bigger, stronger etc. Id guess my current oneitis is about 120-125lbs. Shes not got much fat on her, but is somewhat tomboyishly muscular.

Ive always thought it was like this: Say her strength is normalized to 1. I was then a 0.75. And her other suitor, maybe 2.

If that was the case Id feel shes always condescending if she talked to me (*see Note). Or she had every right to ignore me and talk to the other guy. I never talked to her while she was with her suitor, but the scenarios that went through my head were myriad.
1) She would laugh at all his jokes and ignore me.
2) I would be quiet most of the time, while her suitor animated, therefore he would get all the attention
3) Leaving the suitor aside, no one else would respect me, freely coming and talking to her in my presence. Or even hitting on her, considering me weaker and not a threat.

But she gave me signals, once while she was walking right with her suitor. What was that about if she was being condescending? I asked the question here, but didn't get a straight answer.


So, what if the case was I was a 1.25, she was a 1, and her other suitor was a 2?
Then shes not being condescending, which may explain her (and the other one years back), interest in me).

Sure, the other guy is stronger, but in the same way that height becomes less relevant once you are taller than the girl, *perhaps* the same can be for strength, which might explain why they (my oneitises) didn't get my reluctance - they thought I was a good enough specimen physically and therefore concentrated on something mental - where I presume they saw some sort of advantage in me with their intuition - over the other guy. And they didn't understand why I studiously ignored them.

As for 3) above, this scenario might change. Just as its unlikely (in my head) for a 6'0 muscular guy to hit on a 5'2" girl if she has a 5'4" boyfriend, but likely that he would if her boyfriend was 5'0". Perhaps the key point is to be stronger/heavier than the girl, rather than taller for others to 'respect' it.


A diagrammatic representation.

A = Ardia, G = Girl, S = Suitor (other guy).

What I thought:

 A---->G-->><---S
 0.75    1            2

What might be:

 A--><--G--><--S
 1.25     1          2

(Or what might still be:
A---->G-->><---S
1.25    1            2)

Though its way late in the game, and I already tried and failed to talk to her after she got her boyfriend about a year ago, I think Ill try and talk to her again.

Her Boyfriend/Suitor I dont care about. I wouldn't push him under a truck, but I wouldn't call out to warn him if a truck was careening towards him either.
I am a little reluctant to talk to her though, apart from normal reticence - because basically if it works (small chance but whatever) it is basically ruining her, as Im asking her to dump someone for me - quite immoral.

Fschmidt, Im thinking about telling her the (private) stuff I told you about my life in Chicago, I can't really think of anything more interesting.

Whats the downside for me? Nothing. My life is fucked as is. If she blows me off - Im in no worse a position. Ill just have to scrape by my degree and never see her again which is what I am doing now. If she doesn't blow me off, well...

If she does neither - well it would make it awkward for her, but no worse for me.

Any thoughts or comments appreciated.


(*Note: The last time she tried to get my attention, I was walking with a 'friend', she came and walked besides me. I ignored her, she then bent her head a little down to try and get my attention more. That made me almost physically flinch away. Quite consistent with me thinking she was stronger than me (or taller than me?), which would clash with the inbuilt male algorithm of caring for a girl rather for being cared for by the girl).

Here's a picture where a shorter guy doesn't look that out of place with a taller woman. JJ Abrams and his wife (though she is in heels), Katie Mcgrath. Of course, hes much more muscular than me, but to get an idea of how muscular I am, see the third picture in CoAlpha under the topic "Yalta Part C".

Ardia, I have no advice for you about this because I am probably the worst person in the world to ask.  American women never expressed interest in me, and when I tried talking to them, they blew me off.  I certainly don't see any downside in trying in your situation.  I would say that after 100 rejections in a culture, one should give up, but you aren't close to that.

Yeah,
I think Ill try and corner her sometime over the next week or so. However they are usually together 24/7 while at Uni. If I can't, Ill just email her and see if she would see me.

For my personality emailing would be better, but with the downside of a greater probability of a complete turndown/no response.

~Sigh~

Well,
I get what you're saying from the point of view of just wanting a peaceful life. But I cannot control my instincts (much).

I fit the definition of soon to be well to do Asian male. But the only way I think it would work for me (assuming I gave up and got a South Asian wife) would be to physically move there to be away from temptation.

Ardia, I think you just have a craving for what is denied.  You should take a trip to some poor white country and screw lots of prostitutes there and get it out of your system.  Then, with the craving satisfied, you can look at this objectively.

fschmidt wrote

Ardia, I think you just have a craving for what is denied.

Ive considered that. But I do not see how it can be worked out of my system.

fschmidt wrote

Ardia, I think you just have a craving for what is denied.

This also leaves out something very important. Even if 100% true. Best illustrated with an example.

Say a CoAlpha society gets off the ground. And we have sons and daughters etc.
Your sons will get to date my daughters, but my sons wont get to date your daughters. In essence, genetic death for me (the link because it is implicitly assumed important traits are passed on via sons).

Same applies for my life in the west.

Why wouldn't your sons get to date my daughters?  (The obvious reason I see is that my daughters will be older than your sons.)  If the issue is race, then no, this makes no sense.  I don't see why race would matter at all in CoAlpha dating.

fschmidt wrote

Why wouldn't your sons get to date my daughters?  (The obvious reason I see is that my daughters will be older than your sons.)  If the issue is race, then no, this makes no sense.  I don't see why race would matter at all in CoAlpha dating.

Because, by the law of averages, your daughters will be 5'4, my sons will be 5'2... at least to start with.
I didn't mean your daughters specifically. I meant a mixed race coAlpha society.

After all, race is just a statistical average of other factors. Height is one of them.

Height is just one selection factor.  I would hope that CoAlpha daughters would base dating preferences less on physical characteristics than the general population does.  To give an analogy, I think a woman from a strong religious sect would prefer marrying a shorter guy from her sect than a taller guy from the general population.  Maybe you can investigate if this is really true.

Im just thinking now that if this is to have any effect at all, it has to be done fairly regularly (at least once a month?).
That might give me a different view of the world. Pity I cant.

And double pity that during the years it is most sorely needed (younger years) it is the most unaffordable.

I agree with this.  Prostitution should be priced so that it is easily affordable to young men weekly.  This would solve a lot of problems.

Today, walking back from the supermarket - I mentioned to my mother that a girl had a crush on me in the first year of University and she was 5'4"-5'5".

Her response: "Oh, you couldn't take her height..."

I'd also add that (I think) loveshys probably have some characteristics thought of as more common/pronounced in women, while incels are more 'purely' men in thought and mind.

Although, some people often have a black and white definition of what incel is and what Love Shyness is, the line is often blurred between the two and often overlap.